“What is family planning any way?” That is something that Joe Jackson probably never said as his wife conceived their 10th R&B performer and industrial strength no lye relaxer test subject. But when you really think about it, what is Family Planning any way? Is it a thing where you sit with an architect and draw out schematics for how tall and wide the trophy case is going to be from your professional sport playing son who you live vicariously through?
Yes that’s where we’ll put my own shattered dreams.
But apparently family planning is about–planning your family, (special thanks to Self Explanatory Titles Committee for not giving it an ironic name like Parliamentary Procedure.) How does that happen? Well apparently you can’t just be having children willy nilly, which if you’ve ever watched TLC you would know that is not as easy as it sounds. Is there ideal amount of children for a family to have? I know that every Christmas my older sister wished our parents had stopped at 1, but meh. Still before we start counting children dear reader we still have to figure out where babies come from?
Yes, Its obvious that all babies should come out of the baby chute, next the soda fountain.
Debunking the myths of sex and sexuality are the hardest part (in my opinion) of family planning; Is it true you won’t get pregnant if you have sex standing up– what if he is wearing a condom while standing up? How close is real life sex to what happens on True Blood? When should I expect a coven of topless underwear models to attack me in my small southern town? I know what you are all, “Do you really need to teach people about sex, it’s 2013, doesn’t NBC and FOX sitcoms cover this issue?” Yes. Because some people don’t even know how to define sex, some people follow the Bill Clinton School of Sex where it doesn’t count unless you lock it in like Legos, while other folks are all “handshakes are for marriage!!!”
Tobias Wolter (April 2006)
Seriously you don’t know where his hands have been!
Any way Kevon Lightbourne from the Bahamas Family Planning Association came by to talk to us about everything that we have questions on, although I didn’t ask him about whether or not he is attacking the problem at the source, that is lobbying the government to create legislature against R. Kelly, Barry White, Blue Mystic and Conch Snacks
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